The twigs poked
up at her legs and the damp leaves soaked into her jeans, but she sat on the
wooded ground still. The sea stretched out on and on before her wavering
eyes. Her gaze traveled out across the waves yet the horizon pushed farther up to keep her from seeing the edge. The
girl watched the ocean with a thin sweater draped from her frame. She let the breeze rip through her as it pushed up the hill, to
remind her she had bones and blood, not just fumes.
Puffs wafted
from her circled mouth and spun in the air. This way and that they flew and
then sailed into dissipation. She didn't watch the ever-moving smoke. Her eyes
lay on the sea.
Please just go talk to him!
no.
I get it! You’re confused, Damn it! But stop
being a pussy by letting this be you!
why?
You have meaning with him. He can help!
screw me over and break my heart more likely
Or help you! Why do you hate him!
i don’t.
You sure as hell act like it.
i just don’t know.
Well obviously!
shut up.
She rose from
her soaked seat. Stepped forward to the tree next to her and hoisted her body
up onto a branch and sat again. Her perch revealed the sand to her. She looked
at the crashing waves as they broke again and again on the billions of grains. The
wind pushed her and she let it, only holding on enough to not fall from her
fragile branch.
The girl let
more puffs out into the breeze. Now she watched them. They rose and fell and
after a few twists faded into the clear whipping wind. They kept her thoughts
for a few moments. They amused her: their short life’s conceived each as a
side-effect of her living life. In and out of existence in a blimp that she
would soon forget.
there’s something poetic about that.
There’s something pathetic about you!
sigh…
Go!
no.
Do you want to help yourself?
i am.
Oh, right whatever you say depressed loner.
mmmhmm.
GO!
not right now.
Get up.
shut up please, i’m trying to enjoy the
views.
The trees
around her swayed back and forth from the wind with increased ferocity as the
moon rose higher and brighter. She pushed herself a little bit back into the
folds of the tree’s arms to escape the weather’s brutal onslaught. She cupped
her hands slightly around her cigarette, burning her hands slightly with the
dwindling fire, but taking the scorching heat as opposed to the relentless
cold.
You can’t even see! Get out of here. No
one’s going to chase you down here.
maybe not.
More than maybe! You make them think you
want to be alone. You’re stupid.
i think they’ll see
No. No they really really won’t!
fine then.
You don’t even fucking care about anything!
You’re just here to feel pain, damn it!
whatever.
Her eyes
blinked quickly. The girl’s free hand rubbed her temples loosely. She was
frozen.
But she broke
from the thoughts and the cold long enough to pull her way down from the tree
and begin off away from the beach.
Finally! See, if you want something you have
to chase it.
i’m just cold
Right, it’s always the Physical stuff that’s
the problem.
you’re a bitch.
You’re one to talk!
shut up and let me think
You Are!
damn it just let it go.
Let what go?
let me go!
Fine.
fine.
She sniffled
but the cold tossed away the potential tear. She pushed on through the cold and
the dark. The trees had lost their shadows, everything was misty and very
not-there.
just keep breathing. don’t let up.
She kept
walking.
“Francesca! Hey
are you still out here?”
he’s here? he came out here? wait wait wait,
really? why? no no no, where is he?
“I’m over her,” the girl faintly shouted.
She walked
towards his voice. Suddenly out of the darkness he stood right in front of her.
She looked up at him. Her pulled her in and hugged her.
“What are you
doing out here? It’s freezing.”
“I was just
thinking. Sorry to make you worry.”
